FIRMative Action

So I've been thinking recently (I know, dangerous, right) anyway in our country there is all this talk about equal rights. Equal rights for this and equal rights for that, it's kinda crazy really. But there's one sector these protesters have left out completely... Equal rights between male and female Strippers. Now don't get me wrong I love strippers as much as every red blooded American male should. My dilemma exists in the fact that every chick with a coke habit and a baby at home can just go down the street to the nearest premier Adult playhouse and hop on the stage and shake her moneymaker. While us good looking sexy men whom long to swing around on a greased up pole while hordes of ladies lustfully stuff dollar bills down our codpieces have to hide out in sleazy nightclubs only in Vegas. How is that Fair?! Where's the Affirmative action in this case? Nowhere, so I'm protesting damnit! I want equal rights and opportunities for that male stripper in all of us! If we fight hard enough just maybe my Son will one day be able to say "I'm working my way thru college" while dry humping a 52 yr old platinum blonde divorcee in downtown Tampa. I have a dream...